The Origins and Evolution of Sonder

The term sonder was coined by John Koenig in 2012 as part of The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows, a project aimed at filling lexical gaps in the English language. While not yet officially recognized in standard dictionaries, sonder has quickly gained traction in psychological and philosophical discussions. Its resonance with people across cultures speaks to a universal human experience that had previously lacked a specific name.

Historically, similar concepts have been explored in various philosophical traditions. The idea of recognizing the full humanity of others can be traced back to ancient wisdom traditions and has been a cornerstone of many ethical and religious teachings. However, sonder brings a modern, nuanced perspective to this age-old realization, framing it in the context of our increasingly interconnected yet often impersonal world.

The Psychology Behind Sonder

From a psychological standpoint, sonder represents a significant cognitive shift. It challenges our default mode of self-centered thinking, often referred to as the egocentric bias. This bias leads us to overestimate the extent to which others share our perspectives and experiences, and to underestimate the complexity of others’ inner lives.

Sonder moments can be seen as brief interruptions of this egocentric bias, allowing us to momentarily step outside our own narrative and recognize the vastness of human experience. This recognition aligns with theories of social cognition and perspective-taking, which are crucial for developing empathy and social intelligence.

Research in cognitive psychology suggests that such perspective-shifting exercises can have profound effects on our social interactions and overall wellbeing. By regularly practicing sonder, individuals may develop enhanced empathy, reduced prejudice, and a greater sense of connectedness to the human community at large.

Sonder in the Digital Age

The concept of sonder takes on new dimensions in our digital era. Social media platforms provide unprecedented glimpses into the lives of strangers, potentially facilitating sonder experiences. However, the curated nature of online personas can also create illusions of understanding that may not reflect the true complexity of individuals’ lives.

The challenge in the digital age is to translate online sonder moments into meaningful real-world empathy and connection. As we scroll through countless profiles and posts, the risk of treating others as two-dimensional characters in our digital landscape grows. Sonder reminds us to look beyond the screen and recognize the full humanity of those we encounter both online and offline.

Interestingly, some social media trends, such as humans of New York-style storytelling projects, can be seen as attempts to invoke sonder on a large scale. These initiatives aim to highlight the depth and complexity of strangers’ lives, countering the often superficial nature of online interactions.

The Societal Impact of Embracing Sonder

As awareness of sonder grows, its potential impact on society could be significant. At a time when political and social divisions seem to be widening, sonder offers a powerful antidote to dehumanization and othering. By recognizing the rich inner lives of those we might otherwise dismiss or ignore, we lay the groundwork for greater social cohesion and understanding.

In urban planning and community development, the concept of sonder could inform strategies to create more empathetic and connected neighborhoods. Public spaces designed to facilitate meaningful interactions and shared experiences could help foster a collective sense of sonder among city dwellers.

Moreover, in fields such as healthcare and education, training professionals to cultivate a sonder mindset could lead to more compassionate and effective services. Recognizing the complex life stories of patients or students can significantly enhance the quality of care and instruction provided.

Cultivating Sonder in Everyday Life

While sonder often occurs spontaneously, there are ways to intentionally cultivate this awareness in daily life. Mindfulness practices, for instance, can help us become more attuned to our surroundings and the people in them. Simple exercises like imagining the life story of a stranger on the bus or reflecting on the many roles we each play (parent, child, friend, colleague) can help develop a sonder-oriented mindset.

Engaging in diverse social experiences, volunteering, or simply striking up conversations with strangers can also provide opportunities for sonder. These interactions challenge our assumptions and remind us of the vast array of human experiences that surround us every day.

As we cultivate sonder, we may find that it not only enhances our understanding of others but also deepens our appreciation for our own complex journey through life. In recognizing the richness of others’ experiences, we gain perspective on our own struggles and triumphs, fostering a sense of shared humanity that transcends surface-level differences.